The first time those tiny fingers hold your smallest finger because your other fingers are too big for those dainty little fingers, your eyes are teary but there is a hope in your heart that someday this beautiful kid will grow up to be a confident human. Fast forward to when your kid becomes an adult and is standing on a stage or is on some TV show, there are yet again tears in your eyes, you and your spouse are clapping so loudly that your hands are all red but you don’t care because you are too proud to care about your red hands. That day you realize you have successfully raised a smart and confident adult. That you did a good job parenting.

As a parent, you always want what is best for your kid; the best future, the best college, the best job, etc. But do you know that there are some things that you can do, small habits that you can plant which will contribute immensely to this dream of yours for your kid?

• Listen attentively

Whenever your kid comes to you to show his/her drawing, his notebook where his/her teacher gave him/her full marks or a good remark or to tell you what happened in school, have you ever payed any attention to what your kid is saying or showing? Do you know with whom your kid shares his desk at school? With whom he/she shares his lunch? If you don’t then it’s time dear parents that you start paying attention to your kid!

When your kid does something wrong like not doing his/her homework, when he gets whiny while eating vegetables, when he does not listen to you, what is your response to that? Do you raise your voice or slap him? If you do, then that is not the right way of handling such situations.

Instead of taking these extreme measures, you should sit down with your kid and LISTEN to what he/she has to say. Listen to every little detail. Remember all the names your kid takes of his/her friend or of any other kid who is troubling him. Leaders become leaders because they listen and not just for the sake of listening but for the sake of connecting with others. Listening is the most powerful tool of every great leader. Leaders listen to other people’s problems the way you are listening to your kids. Kids often look up to their parents, so whatever you are projecting in front of your kid, then he/she will follow you. If you listen to them, then they’ll listen to you and eventually will listen to other people before expressing their point of view/opinion.

• Let them make their own decisions

Does your kid come to you for small decisions such as which dress to wear or which shoes will match with their outfit? Then ask your kid to take such small decisions on his/her own. This way you are ending the habit of depending on you. Starting from these small decisions, the kid will develop the sense of independence. This boosts confidence. Taking such small decisions will help them think clearly to take much bigger decisions in life. Because life’s not always going to be a bed of roses.

• Teach them to Dream big

When you are small, you have the whole world as your canvas. You can paint all sorts of images. Similarly, your kid is painting an image of himself/herself as a pilot or a chef or an engineer or a doctor. This is where you should give your kid the complete freedom to become anything and to dream anything. You have to give assurance to them that anything is possible. You have to say that each dream matters. That your kid matters. This will not only boost the confidence of your kid but will also ensure that they are not limiting themselves just because they don’t have confidence in themselves. Tell them that you believe in them even if no one does. That no matter what happens, you are there to stand by their side. Due to this, they’ll start believing in themselves and once they start believing in themselves then they’ll believe in their vision. This is the most important trait in leaders. You can see that these small habits or pushes from your side can prove to be so beneficial for your kid.

• Teach them to voice their thoughts and opinions with confidence

Are you shushing your kid when he/she is trying to give an opinion on small things as to what to be made in dinner/lunch, or in what clothes to buy? Then, please don’t! When you are shushing your kid, you are also silencing your kid from speaking out what is in their heart. You are depicting that their opinions don’t matter and that it’s not worth it. You should encourage them to speak up, even for the smallest of things. Listen to them and even if you are not positive in accepting their opinion then gently explain why their opinion is not as good as but also do not forget to say that your opinion matters but it’s important that you are giving the best opinion. Teach them it’s extremely important to be opinionated and more important is to voice that opinion.

• Teach them to be humble

Another very important characteristic of successful leaders is to be humble, to be grounded. Now how to make your kid humble and not boastful? Start with small traditions at home. Make them thank God for the food in their plate, the new clothes they are fortunate to wear. Whenever you are in some shop or a restaurant talk very politely with a servant or the shopkeeper, this way you are teaching them to respect everyone and that no matter what the job of the opposite person is one should always talk politely. This little habit will teach them the importance of being humble.

It might look a lot for many of you to do all this, but these small habits and tricks may help your kid to become a confident and humble leader. It’s not hard but it’s not a one-day process.

Happy Su Parenting!

And do not forget to live those happy moments with your kid.