Teenage is a crucial period for parents as well as children. It is during this time that the relationship between them either flourishes or suffers. It all depends on how a child is treated and trained during this period.

Children vs. Parents

During teenage, the children start to develop wings. They have this adrenaline rush to go and explore things. They have this strong urge for independence where they wish to make their own decisions, be it choosing friends or movies.

On the other side, parents of these teenagers are on high alert. They don’t want their little snowflakes to fall prey to any harmful or hazardous situation. They just want to shield them from all the negativity.

Generally, parents tend to practice the parenting styles they have experienced from their parents, of course, with some modifications. However, that may not always be the best possible way to raise healthy relationships with the children.

Intentions vs. Expectations

Parents’ intentions can never be questioned. All a parent would want is a child’s safety. Despite having such pious intentions, how they put into plan plays a major role. There is a thin line between being supportive parents and being hovering parents. And at times, blinded by the wish to get the best of everything for their child, parents may cross the thin line. Crossing this line can have aversive effects on the child as well as parents.

Helicopter Parenting

Helicopter parenting is the phrase used by many Psychologists for this parenting style. In simple words, parents try to hover (like a helicopter) around their child’s life, trying to control every aspect of their life to a possible extent. The parents get excessively involved in this Z gen’s lives, try to shield from every potential mishappening, and help them to walk on the path of success.

Doesn’t seem wrong? Well, the thought process isn’t, but continuously trying to get involved in children’s lives does not yield that great result.

Signs that you are practicing ‘Hovering’ or ‘overparenting’ :

1. You believe that there is danger out in the world and want to save your child from everything, even if it means going to extensive lengths. An example of this would be you get an anxiety attack when your child talks about sleepovers or trips with friends.
2. You fear the company of people your child is in and constantly try to influence him/her on who to be with or not.
3. You stop them from exploring things just because they may turn out to be risky. You don’t let them take the initiative.
4. You try to keep a constant check on your child by connecting to his friends, teachers, and other figures in his life. You literally spy on his/her whereabouts.
5. You, at times, get unreasonable just to save your child in any situation.
6. When your child is not able to cross a hurdle, you take a personal interest and get him/her through by overindulgence, making sure he/she gets through by hook or crook.
7. You keep a check on the child’s social media usage, their interactions, and intentionally stop them if things are not going your way.

The problem here is that you are trying to raise the child as per your plan. And of course, your plan does not have any wrongs or mishappenings. But in reality, life cannot be that way, and you for sure cannot control any and everything.

Hovering is Destructive!

Hovering can make the relationship suffer. The teenager experiences restrictions that they find unnecessary and unreasonable, which grows them distant from the parents. They can even burst out after a time. They will either start lying and hiding things from them or become rebellious.

It also affects the child’s confidence. The child no longer feels comfortable in making his/her own decisions. They can also feel inferior. On the other side, parents become prone to stress, anxiety, depression, anger issues, and much more.

All of this can be worked upon. You can nourish your relationship with your child just by being there for them. Not doing much, but just guiding them through.

A Note to Parents

I understand that you want your child to be protected and succeed in life, but you also need to know that you cannot be with them for the whole of their lives. So let them explore. You have done your part in providing them with all that you can, especially the moral values. Just let them be. Provide them love, care, and affection, but at the same time, maintain the boundaries.

They have just had their wings, so let them learn how to fly. Give them their space to grow. Let them make their own decisions. Let them tumble over. Be a mentor to them. So when they need you, you can guide and support them. Be their shoulder but don’t do everything on their behalf.

Being a parent may be a tedious job, but it, for sure, is a mesmerizing experience. I am already sure that you are doing your level best. Don’t feel bad if you share the qualities of being a helicopter parent. There is always a scope for improvement. Just be mindful, draw the boundaries, and get going. Happy parenting!